Daughter - 1

Dear Dad

My heart is just overflowing and I have so much to share with You.

If not for Your Grace, Your Mercy where would I be?
I know!
Fumbling along in the dark, while thinking I am actually walking in the light like so many people today. How stupidly ignorant do I stumble along, calling myself Your daughter and yet despite reading and studying and filling my world and my mind and my soul with sermons, preachings, books, gospel music, conferences, workshops, studies, audios, music and walking and working and talking gospel, faith, Jesus, You, I keep on being confronted with my own ignorance, my own close mindedness, small mindedness, lack of insight, understanding.

I am so filled with living lies and lies and lies, the slime, the poison satan has spewed over me and planted in my mind and memory and heart, that I just cannot grasp who I really am in You. Who You created me to be, what You have created me for, what power You have placed me.

I stand before my fellow Christians and their lifes are so together. They seem to know who and what they are in You Daddy. I tell them of my turmoil and they answer, almost embarrassed that I can admit that I am in a mess, and glibly they ensure me that I am strong women and will overcome this quickly. Or they launch into a sermon and preaching and telling me why I cannot think or feel this way. Or they go on and on about their own lifes and how they are coping, never admitting that they might at times also feel like this. That would be to honest for us as superwoman and super-Christians of the 21st century would it not? That would mean others might think less of them.

Then when I am finally standing before You, or should I rather say lying with my face in the mud, when my thoughts have spiraled out of control and all I know is despair and fear and stark despondency.
Spent, tired, without hope and even precious little faith left.
No strength left in me to get myself up again.

YOU take me by the hand and lift me up. Not to stand on my own two feet, but to cradle me in Your arms, against Your strength. You hold me gently and tenderly like a small frightened child and carry me carefully and lovingly to Your heavenly palace. You gently put me down and clean me up, wiping of the mud, wiping away the tears.

Your angels come and minister to me. Washing me from top to bottom. Cleansing me from dirt, pain, lies, anger, bitterness, hopelessness, fear, despair, darkness and false believes, from attachments and curses, from ties and promises to and by the enemy.
They wash my hair and massage my stressed and tired muscles. They rub the anointed oils into every cell of my body. They restore my inner beauty and feminine nature.

I stand naked, but cleansed and oiled and anointed.
Gently they assist me in putting on soft, clean, fresh silk underclothes.
Over this You have provided me with a coat of purple, blue and gold, embroidered with gold silk threads.
You give them new shoes to place on my feet that has been washed with scented water.
They place Your crown on my head  with a gossamer soft veil hanging down my back.
You place a gold signet ring on my finger.
Then You take my hand, hug me tightly to You, before leading me as Your daughter to the banquet hall.
All the saints are there waiting for Your entrance and when You introduce me to them as Your BELOVED blood daughter, they rise and praise Your name. They rejoice with You and welcome me with open arms.
Holy
Holy
Holy
is the name of the Lord.

Leading me through the length of the room so that everyone can meet me and welcome me into our household, You seat me at Your right hand and clapping Your hands, the angels place a feast on the table before us.

"My beloved, eat and drink and rejoice with the saints. You were lost, but now You are found. You were dead, but now You live. You were sad, but now you are filled with Joy."

"My beloved, know that I have cleansed you of your sins. Do not sin anymore."

"My beloved, you know own the full armour of My Kingdom.

• The helmet of salvation - because you are saved
• The breastplate of righteousness - because you are now my righteousness through the blood of Jesus Christ
• The belt of truth - because the truth is that which I have given you in my Word -
• You are the top and not the bottom
• You are coming in and not going out
• You are the head and not the tail
• You are more than a conqueror as I am stronger than he who is in the world
• You can do anything through Jesus Christ who strengthens you
• Everything your hand touch will prosper
• You are blessed so that you can be a blessing to others
• and so much more - Go and find your promises in my name!
• The shoes to spread the gospel of peace - where you walk, my presence will be
• The shield of faith with which you can reflect the burning missiles of the enemy
• The sword of Spirit, that both protect and attack - the Word on which you can stand

I am feeling overwhelmed and bewildered, not sure if this is the truth or a cruel dream, a deepest childhood fantasy, an inner craving from which I am going to wake any minute now.
 
Then You come and crouch in front of me, look deeply into my eyes with eyes that are warm, kind, loving and sparkling with laughter lines. You take my hands in Yours. With great love, warmth, compassion looking directly into my eyes you ask:

"Do you not know that you are My beloved daughter!"

"Do you not understand what this means!"

"Do you not understand how much you mean to ME!"

"Do you not have any idea what I would do for you!"

Daddy then only did I realise that You love me with a Godly, Daddy love. Your love is pure and protective and unconditional and without sexual overtones, legalism, conditional requirements, without judgement and punishment.

Daddy, You are everything I longed for, wished for, prayed for, but were to scarred and scared to embrace in case it is another mirage, another dream and it slipped through my hopes and desires and dreams and fingers again.

Daddy, I softly whisper while crying with joy - thank You and I love You!.

Isaiah 61:3 (Amplified Bible)

³To grant [consolation and joy] to those who mourn in Zion--to give them an ornament (a garland or diadem) of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, the garment [expressive] of praise instead of a heavy, burdened, and failing spirit--that they may be called oaks of righteousness [lofty, strong, and magnificent, distinguished for uprightness, justice, and right standing with God], the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.