The last couple of years have been very difficult for me. Every time I think this is the end of the road of adversity, something new hits me square in the face.
Three months ago, I hit such a low and was ready to quit, but You held tightly onto me and pulled me out of the pit of self-pity and defeat. You placed me on the rock of Jesus Christ and refreshed and renewed my mind.
The adversity did not end, in fact it feels as if it has intensified. More things are going wrong, it is more difficult to manage and go on the road I am on. BUT, my mindset and attitude has changed. You opened my eyes for sin, wrong believes, wrong attitudes, wrong actions in my life. You exposed me to new writers, preachers, prophets and opened You Word in such beautiful new ways that I am amazed.
So I pondered the age old question? How come God allows His children to go through adversity? AND, suddenly it all just made sense.
There are always just two kinds . . .
Two kinds of people
- Those who do NOT to believe in YOU
- Those who believe in YOU
those who choose not to believe in one God, Almighty, Omnipresent, Omnicient
those who scoff and laugh at the "foolish" and the "naive" for believing in You
those who mock You Word and find many reasons to dispute it
those who believe in themselves or false gods or other religions
those who profess not to believe in anything
These are normally the FIRST to question Your existence when something goes wrong. They do not believe in You, but are quick to questions You or cry to You when they are in difficulties of some kind or other
The 2nd kind is:
those who believe in You as God Trinity
Again there are 2 kinds - 2 kinds of Christians
- Those who sees You as a quick fix or the solution to their problems, whereby You are just the provider, the ATM, the one at their beck and call.
- Those who have true relationship with You God, who loves You and desire a relationship with You. Those who learn and study and spend time with You
- superficial
- lazy
- in it for what they can get out of You God
- the quick road, the short cut, without putting in the time and the effort to build a relationship with You
- Others must pray for them
- Others must think and find the answer from You Abba for them
- Others must heal them
- Others must cut them special slack and favours, because after all it is their right as Christians
- Others must do the work and they just want to open their mouths and get fed by the "best" showmanship church/ preacher out there
- They want a warm and fuzzy Sunday experience and then their mind is eased for the next seven days
- They do not question anything, but follow the most convincing preacher/ speaker/ programme
- They want the easy and the high road and no suffering or adversity or tests coming their way
- They do not pay the price for being a child of You the Utmost High
Or they are just fatalistic and say this is the way it is suppose to be, who am I to disagree or question God
Or they do not even notice that this are going wrong around them, as they are nice and warm in their own little world/ comfort zone
Those who are Christians through tradition/ legalism find it difficult to have a personal relationship with You and also are quick to question Your existence/ love/ motive when things are not going according to THEIR plan
The 2nd kind of Christians are those who . . .
- realise that building a relationship with You takes time and "work/effort"
- study Your Word for truth
- spend time in prayer and learning
- pay the price in terms of time, giving up things to be able to spend time with You
- make life choices that do not always make them the most popular, but which they know is what You require from Your children
- are called the "fanaticals", the "freaks", the"fundamentalist", the foolish and the naive.
- realise that so many life choices have been "limited" to God choices,
- I cannot marry anyone I want to anymore
- I cannot do with my money and possessions what I want to anymore
- I cannot make a life decisions without consulting You first
- I cannot stay in the same circle of friends/ church/ environment I always did
- I cannot make decisions and then just expect You to adhere to my choices and bless it
- I cannot watch any TV programme, listen to any radio station/ music, read any book I want to, but have to measure against God principles and the voice of the Spirit in my soul
- I cannot react anyway I want to, but have to let the flesh die to the spirit man
- I do not have the right to condemnation anymore, but have to hand it over to You God
- realise that we are in a constant, continuous, never ending battle/ war/ fight against the darkness and that it will never end here on earth
- realise that adversity will constantly hammer us from all sides
- realise that we need to be purified, strengthened, made humble everyday of my live
But the more time we spend in Your presence, the more beautiful our relationship becomes.
The more we grow in relationship with You, the more worldly measurements and values and priorities lose it glamour and allure.
The more we live in Your "limited" world, the more free we become, the more possibilities there are, the more we have peace and joy and choices
I have come to realise that I need to embrace the adversityI have come to realise that I need to rejoice in the attacks from the enemy
I have come to realise that it is the heat and the problems and the adversity that brings all the impurities to the service to be faced and dealt with. To be removed and cleaned off.
I have come to realise that it is in the deepest pit that I call to You with the most intensity
I have come to realise it is deep calling to Deep that brings healing
I have come to realise that when I am being purified it is the time I seek You the most with passion and intensity
I have come to realise that in it all it is possible to live in Your peace and joy
I have come to realise this is when I step into faith and out of tradition and legalism
I have come to realise that I NEED the adversity, the war, the testing, the gentle admonitions, the reprimands, the reproach to keep me on the right road.
I have come to realise that it is only through these periods of purification that my faith grows and my relationship with You deepens and increase in understanding, power and authority Abba and Jesus ChristI have come to the place in my relationship with You, where although it is not pleasant, I have realised that I need You more than I breath and that I need to be purified so that I can become more and more who You desire me to be and less and less of my own selfish needs and preconceived ideas.
So why do Your children go through difficulties?- because we chose to sin
- because we chose to turn away/ against You Abba
- because we open doors to our lives with wrong choices
- because we do not want to put in the time and effort that is needed in any intimate relationship - also with You
- because we hold onto traditions/ wrong believes
- because we refuse to listen when You speak to our spirit
- because we do not KNOW Your Word and how we should be living a Godly live
- because we hold onto old hurts and bitterness and attitudes and do not give it up with ease
- because we need to be brought into the deepest relationship with You and only through experience, purification and adversity do we learn You voice, strategies, expectaions
- because we need to be tested for strength, for commitment, for faith
- because we need to climb out of our comfort zones and sometime the only way we can be taught this is to be pushed out of the nest
- because we need to discover our own strength and authority in You Christ
- because we need to change our mindsets and attitudes and words
- because this is the way to wearing our crown and seal and entrance into heaven
So thank You Abba for the never ending road You walk with me.
Thank You Jesus for never giving up on me
Thank You Holy Spirit for filling me daily with new wisdom and knowledge and insight and power
Your humble daughter, sister, bride, priest, earthly way
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